We just got home from almost 2 weeks of Christmas holiday traveling. While I am happy that we just sucked it up and did it, I will never do this again! Traveling with young kids is hard enough, but throw in two boys with an Autism Spectrum Disorder and I was pretty much done after day 1! :-)
Jason and I have our little tips and tricks that help us travel. This may not work for everyone, but we've flown on a plane so many times with our kids that we know exactly what to do. I would say that this was our most successful travel experience that we've had. Again, every kid is unpredictable and totally different, so this might not work for everyone.
I have friends with children that always give me their two cents as to what they feel works best. Most of them always tell me that we should travel during bed times. Whether that's driving in a car all night to Florida or taking a night flight to the West coast. We tried this about a year ago. Worst decision we ever made in our lives! We took a red eye flight to visit our family in the west. It was only a 5 hour flight. Asher was so tired that he was screaming and crying and making his body spasm. I walked up and down the plane aisle to help soothe him and I bounced a little while I was doing it. By the time I got back to my seat Asher stopped crying. I thought I was a super awesome mom for saving the day and making my child stop crying. I looked down at him and he looked up at me with wide eyes. Then two seconds later I was drenched in throw up. I was dripping in it. It was all over our entire three seats in our row. And we were only about an hour into the flight. Both of my kids have terrible gag reflexes, but I also added bouncing to the list of no nos. Needless to say, the only place my kids will sleep is in their own beds, not on a noisy airplane. So we always travel early in the morning when they are already bright eyed and bushy tailed awake.
I've had friends that have also told me that I should give my kids benadryl to help them be calm and even fall asleep. This is another one of my definite no nos. We used to live in Northern California and decided to drive down to Southern California to spend Thanksgiving at Disneyland. I gave benadryl to Ezra to help him fall asleep during our night drive. Well, it did the exact opposite. Ezra was super hyper and irritated and he did not sleep at all during our drive. The next day at Disneyland he was such a grump because he was so tired. Then I read the benadryl label that says that it makes some kids hyper. That would be my kid. It's not healthy for them, it's giving them drugs they don't need, and it is a definite NO on my list for traveling. Instead, I always carry a travel pouch of Tired Teddies. No joke. They help with staying calm and falling asleep at the appropriate time to fall asleep (night time- not some random time during the day!).
This Christmas holiday we flew on a plane for 5 hours to visit our extended families in Salt Lake City, Utah. 5 Hours is a long time for the kids to sit and be quiet. My kids hate coloring and any book I bring would last for 5 minutes of entertainment and then they would be done. That's when we turn to the iPads. Both my husband and I both have our own iPhones and iPads. You can put books, movies, educational games, and anything else on them. I know some people are severely hesitant to letting their kids play with technology items, but as a parent you have the authority to control what they are doing on the iPad or iPhone.
First off, I don't have any games or apps on my iPad or iPhone that are not educational. I don't do angry birds or car racing or anything else that can be a huge waste of time. The only things that I keep on my devices are highly educational. Also, I've disabled the wireless internet capabilities on my iPad so that the kids can't send emails (which has happened) or surf the internet or YouTube (which has also happened). Ezra is 4 years old and he can spell and read over 50 words (multiply, lick, wave, xray, funny, the, in, scary, and sticky are some examples), he knows all of the names of the bones in our body, he is familiar with negative numbers and realizes that they move backwards on the number scale, and he knows all of the planets and a fact about each one ("Jupiter is the biggest planet!" "Mercury is closest to the sun!") Now, I didn't teach him any of these things. He learned it from different apps on my iPad. I am in no way saying that technology should replace learning that comes from parents, but I don't think it's a big deal to let him play on the iPad for a bit. And it's a lot more educational than any movie or cartoon that he could watch (and my kids don't watch cartoons- their choice- more on that later), so I don't let it keep my up at night. Anyway, enough with my technology rant.
So I do let the kids play on the iPad after school. Sometimes I let them play on it longer than I should. I'm human and not the perfect mother. Most of the time though I try to only let it be for an hour a day, but I am not staunch on this. Before we travel anywhere we always go on an "iPad fast" for at least one week prior to our trip. That way when we get on the airplane they are usually so excited that they finally get to play on the iPad that they are sometimes content for the full 5 hours. We also download 2 or 3 new apps for the plane ride for the kids. On the way there Jason downloaded this medical app that had you take apart the bones of a skeleton and name them. I think Ezra was so content and happy with that app that he really didn't make a peep for 5 hours. And it was pretty cute to hear his little voice point to the bottom of his neck and say: "Yeah, clavicle!" And yesterday we were laughing so hard because Ezra said: "Yeah, vertebral column!"
Another thing that we do is we don't feed our kids AT ALL before we get on the plane. Does that sound like child abuse? :-) It's usually pretty early in the morning so they are fine not eating until the plane takes off. If we were doing this in the afternoon then this would be different. My point is just to do as much as you can while the plane is in the air so that it wastes time. If you go to the airport and sit around waiting for your flight for an hour while playing with an iPad and eating a muffin, the kids are going to be extremely bored once they get on the airplane and they've already eaten and discovered the new apps. So as far as food, we will usually buy something right before we get on the plane for the kids to eat.
Also, before we get on the plane we walk up and down the concourse. We run after each other, chase each other, and get all of our energy out. We let our kids roam free up and down the concourse (with us close behind them) and let them feel free. We don't take a stroller (both of my kids have always HATED strollers). And Jason and I both only take a backpack stuffed with snacks, sensory toys, fully charged iPads and iPhones, tons of wipes, pull-ups, and diapers. We check everything else.
The last thing that I bring that I think is absolutely mandatory for travel is a small white board. The kids' therapists recommended that we do this just for everyday life, and it has worked WONDERS! Now I am telling everyone about it and spreading the word! All kids like structure and knowing what is going to come next in the day. That's why kids thrive on routines, because they know what is going to happen next. But what do you do if your kids can't live life unless it is their same routine? Or what do you do if you need to change the routine and do something else that day or go on a vacation? It's hard! Most neurotypical kids you can just explain to them that there is a change in the schedule. I've seen all of my friends with kids do this. I've heard them say: "I know Jack was going to come over and play with you today but he's sick so he can't now, maybe another time." And just like that the kid was fine with the schedule changing.
My kids aren't like that. I can't explain to them things that aren't concrete. It's a little too beyond their ability yet. So enter the small whiteboard. It's very small. I think the measurements are 8.5 by 11 inches, so roughly the size of a piece of paper. It's small enough that I can fit it in my diaper bag or store it in the console of my car. When our day is going to be different or thrown off, or if I can tell the boys are just having a bad day. I will pull out the whiteboard and quickly draw a picture of what is going on that day. Also when we are done with one of the activities I will pull it out again and cross it off.
So as you can see, I am not an artist. At all. In fact, I would have gotten a 4.0 in high school if it wasn't for that B- grade I got in art class. Yeah, I hate art. :-) Anyway, on this day Ezra was having a hard time getting his shoes on for school. He kept fighting me on it. So I drew up a little board to show him that he had to get his shoes on if he wanted to ride the bus and then have the bus take him to school. Even though my pictures are always terrible, he gets it and it works.
My whiteboard was a saving grace while we were visiting family in Utah. On this day it was a busy day of family overload and stimulation. We were also visiting two different families. So we told Ezra and Asher that we were going to go play with Sarah at her house. It's Jason's sister's home and Sarah is the youngest that plays with my boys. They have a big slide and snow at their house. Then we went to visit all of my family at my parent's house. My mom has two white teacup poodles and my boys are in love with them. So I told them that we were going to see grandma's dogs. Then the last one is some iPad time. When we went back to our condo that we were renting, I let both of the boys "veg" a bit by playing some iPad. This is his robot app. Don't I draw a great looking robot? Just kidding!
That's all for part 1. I will have more tips and tricks for travel and the rest of our trip in part 2.
