This is my Asher. He is delectable. Well, when he wants to be. Most of the time he is. Well, part of the time he is. Sometimes he is. I am just wondering if it is possible to love someone so much it hurts but at the exact same time they are the bane of your existence? :-)
Oh goodness!! I keep looking at that face of his and then suddenly it doesn't matter that he wiped the peanut butter off his sandwich and onto the couch (do you know how hard it is to get peanut butter out??) and took his shoes, socks, and pants off while we were at Nordstrom and ran around like a crazy mad man (I got lots of mom stink eyes). I truly love this boy so much. He melts my heart. (Note to future self- don't take your 2 boys with Autism to Nordstrom!).
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| Building robots with Ezra during play time in the PAC |
Asher was diagnosed with Autism when he was just over 2 years old. That is very early for the norm. Since Asher has an older brother who is on the spectrum, we have been participating in Autism studies since Asher was around 6 months old. They still don't know why, but there is some genetic component to Autism. That is why if you have 1 child with Autism, the chances are greater that you will have another on the spectrum. Those chances also increase with boys. Still, no one yet knows why it is this way. So to make a very long story short, the moment Ezra was diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder (at age 2.5) we did absolutely everything possible to keep a watch on our Asher. He participated in two different sibling Autism studies. The first study lasted a year and the second study lasted 3 years (we are still participating). We enrolled him in Infant and Toddler Connection the second he qualified for services. We had a therapist at our home weekly. He also has speech therapy and occupational therapy weekly. Suffice it to say, I believe in early intervention. I feel like it is absolutely key to helping these little guys.
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| Working on 'pretend play' with Ezra in the PAC |
Last September Asher started pre-school (at age 2.5) at our local public school. The county I live in is seriously amazing and has the most amazing schools and school district I have ever seen. It is such a blessing that we live here. My oldest son attends the Preschool Autism Classroom (nicknamed PAC) at our neighborhood elementary school. Ezra is in his 3rd year of the PAC. And yes, this means he will start kindergarten next year (don't start freaking out yet Jeni!).
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| Working on colors and sorting |
Last September Asher also started the PAC. When Ezra started the PAC almost 3 years ago I cried almost everyday and was so sad that he was gone all day. It was really hard for me and I worried about him so much. It is heartbreaking to put a backpack on your 2.5 year old son, have a huge bus stop in front of your house, and have to lift your son up onto the bus because he is too small to get up there on his own. I prayed and cried and worried myself to death when Ezra started preschool. I remember being physically sick to my stomach and worried that something would happen to him. But the more Ezra went to school (like I said, he's in his 3rd year) the more I fell in love with his teachers, his assistants, and yes, even our principal. I was so happy that Ezra was going to school and learning and doing things that I did not have the ability or knowledge to teach him (the preschool is ABA based).
When Asher started in September I was sad, don't get me wrong, but I was excited for him too. I knew how much preschool had helped Ezra. Ezra was essentially non-verbal and just moaned and screamed when he started school (but he was as smart as a whip and knew his planets, numbers, and alphabet, among other things). Asher had seen Ezra get on and off the bus so many times before. Now he could go! I also knew that early intervention was so important and that I needed to let go of him for a few hours a day so that he could get the help he needed. That's all I wanted for him. Just to be the best possible version of Asher he could be. It also helped and was comforting to know that Asher would be riding the bus with Ezra and that he would see him throughout the day. They deliberately chose not to put them in the same class (there are 2 PAC classes at my school) but the PAC classes combine all of the time, so I knew that Ezra and Asher would spend a lot of time together.
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| Sensory play! He is not sure he wants to touch that weird feeling thing! |
At the end of the second grading quarter (the end of January) we met with Asher's teacher to discuss his progress. Jason and I were both very surprised and excited to learn that Asher had mastered every goal they had set for him at the beginning of the year. He knew all of his numbers, colors, animals, the alphabet, matching, etc. But they were still nervous (and I was too) because although Asher talks a lot, none of his speech was intelligible.
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| Working on sorting and matching! |
A few weeks went by and I noticed that Asher's speech began to be more and more clear. Most of it (like 98%) is still a jumbled mess and I even cannot understand him. But he tries to communicate so hard with us. This is a cool thing. He tries! He wants to communicate, he points and tries to show me things and gets very frustrated when I do not understand his needs / wants. Ezra never did this. He never cared or tried to communicate with us.
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| Not a fan of swinging! Can you tell? |
A few weeks ago I got a phone call from Asher's teacher. Of course I assumed the worst and thought he had fallen off the slide and broke his arm or something horrible like that. I am really great at freaking out. :-) No, she was calling me because she felt like Asher does not belong in the PAC anymore. She said that he waves at his classmates and says hi to them spontaneously. There is another student in his class that cries a lot, and Asher comforts this boy by patting his back and giving him half hugs. She said that Asher is very social and the other students in his class do not even notice he is there. I was surprised. I asked her if she felt that Asher was different than Ezra, because in the 3 years Ezra has been in the PAC- I have never had a discussion that he should graduate from the PAC. "Oh yes", she said. "There is a huge difference between Ezra and Asher."
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| Asher loves his teachers! |
I don't know what came over me, but after she said that I dropped to the floor in my kitchen and began sobbing. Uncontrollably sobbing my eyes out. Asher's teacher was still on the phone. It was silent on the phone for about a minute (on her end, while I was bawling). After I gained composure of myself, I realized how embarrassed I was. Did I really just start hysterically crying? I wasn't crying because I was sad. No. I was crying because I was happy. Very happy. When Ezra was diagnosed with Autism I thought: 'God, I can do this! I will be his voice and I will fight for him!' When Asher was diagnosed with Autism, I wanted to jump off a bridge. I definitely felt sorry for myself and thought: 'Why me, God?!' I had a nice long pity party for a few weeks. Then I dusted myself off and got back to work. I think my crying outburst was just pent up emotions that I've been holding in for a very long time. She consoled me and told me that this was a good thing and that Asher would be fine. We talked a lot more.
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| Asher's PAC teacher. We love her! She will be missed! |
Basically there are 2 special education preschools in my school district. One of them being the PAC. The PAC is very rigid and is ABA based. The hours are longer and there is typically a one to one teacher student ratio (one teacher and 2 teacher assistants in each classroom). There is another special education preschool for children that are considered 'special education' but are not on the spectrum. They call this classroom Non-Categorical. It is nicknamed NONCAT. This preschool classroom is just down the hall from the PAC. If you were to observe the classroom, it looks like a typical preschool classroom. They have story time, do art projects, go to the library, all the things that happen in a normal preschool classroom. There is only 1 teacher for 8 - 10 students. It's less hours everyday (only 2.5 - 3). And lots more opportunities to be social and interact with kids his own age. This is a very good thing!
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| That face just melts my whole body! |
Asher has been in the NONCAT for a little over a month now. Although Asher is still the bane of my existence (I am kidding when I say that!) I can already tell he has learned so much from his classroom. He is speaking more clearly. He is using the potty. He is acting more like a 3 year old should act (like finding the sharpie pens and scribbling all over the mail!! --hey- I am just happy that it was on paper and not something else!) He tantrums like he is 3 years old. He tries to communicate with me and he doesn't give up until I understand. He is independent and wants to put his clothes/shoes/socks on by himself. He loves being read to. He is the best sidekick I could ever ask for! I love my Asher. I am so proud of him and all of the progress he has made. I am sad that he won't see Ezra at school anymore, but I know this is a good thing to make Asher the best version of himself that he can be. Hooray for my Asher! :-)
